Working as a virtual assistant is not always a walk in the park. Sure it may sound easy and comfortable because it is mostly a work-from-home job and there is flexibility. But the truth is, it still works! All the elements that go with “work” are still there – expectations, deliverables, performance, client care, commitment, etc. In fact, it is not different from working in a corporate setting. Part of the job is dealing with different types of people and probably the most common thing that happens when you deal with people is encountering conflicts.
Conflicts lead to stress, and stress leads to a breakdown of work performance and de-motivation. But should this be the case? Can we have conflicts without stressing about it and without leading up to the low performance and low motivation?
If a conflict is inevitable, then we have to choose to accept and manage it. To deal with conflicts in the workplace takes a lot of soft skills and mindset change. To help you out, here are some of the things you need to keep in mind when you notice a conflict arising:
1. Try to listen more, than talk. Trying to listen is almost close to trying to understand. You just let the other person talk and express herself. Remember that if the person is showing emotional signs of wanting to be heard, then your side of the story will probably not be heard. It is best to shut up for a while and try to understand what the other person really, really wants.
2. Find common ground or neutralize. Somewhere along with the conflict, there might be an underlying common ground or a neutral ground. Find it while trying to listen. When you find it, simply say, ‘I agree on this’. This will help neutralize the situation and prevent it from getting out of control.
3. Don’t push it. It is natural to have an urge to tell the other person that you are right – that your idea or action is better or that you are better, but it does nothing good as it only “fuels the fire”. Remember that conflicts arise when two people think differently so the way to manage it is to lower your side of the story and wait for the right time to express or show your side. Don’t push your side under the height of emotions.
4. Make it a goal to look for solutions. Conflicting opinions and perspective cause a lot of trouble and stress when expressed emotionally and verbally. This is because we tend to want to “be heard” or “want to feel right”. Sometimes, this takes us away from what really matters – resolutions. So despite the conflict, try to find a way to resolve the different sides. Be as objective as possible by aiming to find a solution to the conflict rather than thinking about you – your feelings, thoughts, ideas, past experiences, etc. If it does not help resolve, then don’t talk further (there is another time to do this like talking to someone else or expressing it in the support group). Oftentimes, shifting your focus to solutions does not only prevent further quarrels but also helps you discover that the other person also just wants to find what is best for the situation.
5. Escalate it to your boss. If for some reason you cannot resolve the conflict on your own, involve higher authority a.k.a boss. Most of the time, it is the boss that has the last say, anyway. And it also helps to have a third-party objective assessment of what is going on and deciding what is best for everyone.
Peace is the best remedy for conflict. Finding that peace inwardly and taking action to it outwardly prevents you from getting stressed and troubled. After all, that is the whole idea of why you need to manage conflicts – it’s about finding peace despite the conflicts.
